I'm at Jamie's house. We got off work about an hour and a half ago, around three thirty, and we spent a little while at my house, me getting a shower and a change of clothes, Jamie mostly watching TV in my room. I forgot to get clean clothes before I took my shower, and he teased me when I came in just wrapped in a towel, pretending he was going to grab it, joking around. I told him that if he didn't quit it, I’d kick him out of my house; he was surprised, and said sorry, so of course I forgave him, since it was pretty funny.

It's normally a half-hour drive from my house to Jamie's; which is bad enough, but there was heavy traffic because of rush hour, so it took what seemed like forever. Jamie lives on the outskirts of the suburbs and his nearest neighbor is about three-quarters of a mile away, with lots of trees in between. He doesn't live with his parents at all, even in name only like me, and whenever anyone asks about his parents, he gets real quiet, and sometimes won't talk about anything afterwards. He usually lets me get away with anything (we've been friends since I was 10), but he won't even tell me anything, beyond the fact that they are dead. I think it must have been really traumatic for him or something, because of how he acts when the subject is brought up.

So we're at his house, and we can't decide whether to go see a movie, or rent one. Then I remember. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I ask.
“What do you mean?"
“The reason you said you wanted me to come over. You had something you wanted to talk about, and you didn't want to talk about it in front of 30 screaming kids? Sound familiar?"
“Oh, yeah. Um, I’d rather wait, if that's ok with you.”
“Whatever. So, do we go to the theater, or the video store?"
“I just got some new videos. If there's one you haven't seen, we could watch that." I get up, and go through his videos. The only one I haven't seen doesn't sound all that great, but at least it's new. “This one all right with you?” I ask.
“I don't think so."
“Why not?"
“Just pick a different one."
“Tell me why first."
“It's stupid. You won't like it."
“The last few times you've said I wouldn't like a movie, you were wrong. What makes you think you're right this time?"
“I know I'm right because it's porn. But you know what? Suddenly I'm in the mood for brainless bimbettes with big boobs fucking anything they can get inside themselves."
“You are be such an asshole sometimes." I say as I put the video back on the shelf and sit down on the bed (the only furniture in his room, besides a little table next to the bed). "If you want to watch it, get up off your ass and put it in the VCR yourself.''
“Fine. I will." And he does.
"You're such a shit." I say as I stretch out on the bed, facing away from him. I look through the books on the nightstand, and finally settle on one that I've read a million times. I read for a while, being sure to make it obvious that I'm ignoring Jamie and the TV. It doesn't take long before I drift off. My last conscious thought before I fall asleep is ‘Odd. I'm not really that tired. Oh well. It’s fun to curl up next to Jamie, even if he is being a jerk.’

I'm startled out of a strange dream, and I automatically look at the clock. It’s half past six. It takes me a moment to realize what woke me. The bed is very slightly shaking. I look over at Jamie. He's stroking his dick, but with his hand outside his jeans and his fly zipped. My first reaction, instead of being shocked, or astonished, is to be surprised at just how much of a bulge there is in his jeans. I never realized he was so big. And then I realize, I desperately want to fuck my best friend. I want to tear off his jeans, and feel his cock so deep inside myself that I can’t breathe. As I’m pondering this, he sees that I’m awake and stops rubbing, but doesn't move his hand away from his crotch. He doesn't seem embarrassed, just looks at me a little strangely for a minute, then half-smiles and laughs.

“I warned you I was in the mood to watch a porno. But it was rude of me to watch it with you here. I can’t take you home; Chris came over and borrowed my car while you were asleep, because his broke down, and he had an errand he really needed to do. But I will give you cab fare if you want to leave."
“I could always stay right here."
“If you make a habit of saying things like that, some guy is going to misunderstand you and think you’re offering him something you aren’t."
“If you really think I don’t know what I’m offering…" I say as I place my hand on top of his between his legs.
He inhales sharply, then says through his teeth, "Yeah, I guess you do know. It's just that air of innocence that you project. Even I forget that it's not real."
“I seem innocent?" I ask incredulously.
“Sometimes. Usually by comparison."
“Comparison to who?"
“No-one. Now what was it you were saying?"
“Nice change of subject, first of all. I was saying that there are better ways to do that."
“Better ways. Pray tell, like what?" he asks teasingly. I don't answer, just give him a 'You Have So Got To Be Joking' LOOK. "Yes, I am." he says and laughs.
“Oh, so you're reading my mind now."
“No, just that look you gave me. So are you going to tell me these better ways?"
“Well, it would probably lose something in the telling.” I say teasingly.
“We wouldn't want that. By all means, show me.”

Jamie leans back against the pillows and folds his hands behind his head, leaving my hand on the zipper of his jeans. He smiles, sweetly, but teasingly. I laugh, suddenly a little self-conscious. Jamie notices that I'm hesitating, so he leans forward and gently pulls me towards him. He brings one hand up behind my head and ever so softly touches his lips to mine. He slowly begins to kiss me harder, giving me plenty of time to push him away, if I wanted to. Instead, I curl one hand against his chest, the other behind his head, pull him closer, and kiss him back. He deepens the kiss, catching my lips between his teeth, then teasing my mouth open with his tongue, leaving me breathless. Then he stops, leans back, puts my hands on his hips, unhooks his jeans, and slowly releases his cock from the denim straining to hold it. At the sight of his thick velvety hard dick, and the thought of what could happen in the next few minutes if I choose to let it, I feel warmth start to build inside me. "Now," he says with a teasing grin on his face, "I dare you."

“That's not fair. You know I almost never turn down a dare.” I say as I lower my mouth to his lap. I lick the end of his dick a little, teasing, then close my mouth around the head of his cock. I flick the tip of my tongue across the tiny spot on the bottom of his dick where the head of his cock joins the shaft, and smile to myself when I hear him moan. I keep teasing, playing my tongue along the veins of his cock, pressing my lips tight around the shaft and then opening my mouth a little, inhaling air across skin made damp by my mouth. I can feel him getting harder inside my mouth, and the more excited he gets, the more heat curls through my body, and the more frantically I want him inside me. Jamie pushes his hands in my hair, and tries to push all of himself in between my lips. I push my head back against his hands, slowly sliding him out of my mouth. "If you stop now, I may have to kill you." he breathes.
“If I'm dead, we can't do this anymore." I say, my mouth barely an inch away from his cock. I lean forward and take the very head of his dick between my lips. I move my mouth down his length very, very slowly. He's quite long and I’m in no hurry, so I take a couple minutes to get half of him in my mouth. All the while, I keep my tongue moving on him, up, down, side to side, short little licks, longer, slower ones. Halfway down I stop, and ever so lightly, close my teeth against him, then slide my mouth almost off him. Slowly I move my mouth up and down his dick, keeping a constant, light pressure with my teeth.

After a moment, Jamie starts to pull away when I move up, push towards me when I move down, trying to move my lips further toward the base of his cock. With each thrust, I let a bit more of his length past my lips. I feel his cock push past the back of my throat, and I swallow around him, then move my lips part way back up the length of his dick. Jamie pushes his hands in my hair and holds me still, just as he had done moments ago, then pushes his dick in my mouth until he touches the back of my throat again. He pulls almost out of my mouth, then thrusts himself further down my throat than I thought possible and holds still.
“Almost hurts, doesn't it?" he asks, his voice raspy, thick with want, but still playful. "Your throat full, wanting to gag, but you don't have room to." I nod, with as little movement as possible, feeling him shift in the tight space of my throat. It doesn't really hurt, and imagining that same movement between my legs sends pure heat curling through my body.
“This is what happens to girls who tease." he says, as he goes back and forth a few times. I bite him, not quite hard enough to break the skin, but hard. His hips jerk sharply, and as he comes, he slams into me until it feels like he's going to rip out my throat. Then he relaxes, and lies back, eyes closed, breathing unevenly. I roll over onto my back and scoot up the bed to lie next to him. After a few minutes, Jamie says "I didn't hurt you, right?"
"Did you not feel my teeth? You really think I wouldn't have let you know if you were hurting me?" I reply.
"Good. I tried not to, but it's been a while since I had the touch of anyone other than myself, and I got a bit caught up in the sensation there at the end."
"Jay, if I'd wanted you to stop, I'd have let you know. And I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."
“That didn’t do much for you, did it?” Jamie asks.
“Not really, no. I just have a better reason for being frustrated now.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to make it up to you later.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.” I warn him as he wraps his arms around me and I curl up against him.

After a little while, I get up and walk into the kitchen. His house is one floor, with an attic and a basement. Jamie's bedroom is just across the hall from the kitchen. "I'm getting a soda. Want anything?" I call.
"A remote control for life, with a rewind button." he answers.
"Wouldn't that get boring? The same thing, again and again." I say as I sit down on the foot of the bed, noticing that he zipped his jeans while I was in the other room.
"When you're as old as I am, you learn some interesting variations on the same theme." he answers lazily.
"As old as you? Last time I checked you were two years older than me. Two years, one month and two days, to be exact. How does that turn into 'as old as I am'?”
“Oh, yeah. Well, what I meant was, that is I meant to say, um, well..."
“I'm waiting. This one, I want to hear." I laugh.
“It was a slip of the tongue.", Jamie says forcefully, “Can't you just let it go?"
“All right. You don't have freak out."
“I'm sorry. It's not that. It's something else I just thought of. Don’t worry about it."
“Oh, ok. In that case, you do know I'm going to bug you about what you said as soon as I get bored."
“Yeah, I know. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were right, by the way.” Jamie says mischievously.
“About what?" I ask, perplexed.
“That was a better way to do that. Much better. " he teases, then continues, "If you get anymore ideas like that, go ahead and act on them. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but where did that come from?"
“I'm dunno. It was just something I suddenly felt like doing."

Jamie gets an odd look on his face, but when he notices me looking at him, quickly teases, "Even though you almost chickened out at the last minute. If I hadn't dared you, I don't think you would have done it at all."
“I did NOT almost chicken out! I just made the mistake of thinking about what I was about to do, and what I wanted to do, and I realized that it could totally change our whole relationship. And I don't want that to happen."
“Even if it brings us closer?" he questions.
“If I can be sure that it will last, ok. As friends, I can picture us still being together when we're old and grey. But if we start dating, who's to say we won't end up hating each other in short order? I don't want that to happen. I like having you around too much. As it is, I'm already worrying that you're going to do the stereotypical guy thing and start acting like a real asshole. Plus, it's kind of weird, but, even right this minute, I can't really think of you as a guy, just as a friend.”
“At the first sign of me acting like an ass, you have my permission to spank me."
“Nah, you'd like that way too much." I say with a laugh.
“Why do you think I suggested it? But seriously, if you just want us to be friends, we can just be friends. But would you object to being fuck friends?"
“Of course not. If you can't fuck your friends, who can you fuck?"
“My point exactly. A little closeness never hurt a friendship. But promise me you will tell me right away if you start to want to be more then friends." Jamie says seriously.
“If it happens, I'll let you know." I reply.
“Good. Oh, no. Does this little agreement of ours mean I can't fuck any of the girls in my harem anymore?" Jamie jokingly asks.
“Not at all. As long as I can keep my little group of devoted sex slaves." I laugh as I say this, since he and I both know the other is just kidding.
“Oh, you have dealt my ego a mortal blow. I don't think it will ever recover. You mean you haven't been pining away for me all this time?" Jamie says, laughing with me.
“Oh, as if your ego needs any help. And how do you call that 'a little closeness’? If that's your definition of a little, I think I'm afraid to ask what you would call really close."
“Let's see. That would be you, sitting between my legs,” and he pulls me up the bed so that I’m sitting in front of him with my back to him, ”leaning back against me," and he pulls me against his chest, "with your head tilted back," and I tilt my head back and look up at him, “while I kiss you.” And he lowers his mouth to mine. He kisses my lips thoroughly, then moves his mouth to my pulse. He kisses my throat, then opens his mouth. I feel his tongue against my neck, then his teeth ever so gently close on my skin. And the phone rings. "Damn. I better get that. " Jamie says.
“Oh, let it ring. The machine will pick it up."
“No, it's Chris. And he wouldn't call unless it was important. " Jamie says as he picks up the phone. I make a face at the phone as he says hello, and he laughs. "What? Oh, nothing. I've got company." He puts his hand over the mouthpiece, and says, “I promise I'll hang up as soon as I can.” Then he turns back to the phone. "No, not that kind of company. It's Hel." He turns to me and says, "Chris says hi.”
“See, I thought I was that kind of company now." I whisper as he turns away.
“That's not what he meant." Jamie answers before he turns back to the phone. "None of your business Chris." Jamie says into the phone. I can only hear Jamie’s part of the conversation, and it’s not very clear what he is talking about.
“Actually, I haven’t had dinner yet. I brought Hel over right after work."

"That was the plan, but you know…"

“Actually, I was going to talk to you about it, but I decided not to, since you would try to talk me out of it."

"I'd rather not talk about it over the phone."

“Now you're catching on. But since you called, I'll wait." There's a pause, then “We said midnight."

“Why do you want to come over early?"

“It won't do any good. I'm telling you that now."

I whisper, “Jay, I can go home whenever. If you wanted me to stay late, you know I have to let someone in my family know I’m ok, or at least leave a message on the machine announcing that I am still alive and not kidnapped or some such thing, and since you hadn't said anything, I wasn't planning to stay until midnight." Jamie looks at me like he had forgotten I was there. "That's right, I forgot. I did want you to stay for a while, but I don't know how late, now that Chris wants to talk to me. Maybe you better call your house after I get off the phone, ok? I don't know how long talking to Chris is going to take, but I don't think it'll be too long."
“All right. I'll call. But maybe he better come over before midnight." I say. Jamie turns back to the phone. "You can come over at 10. Not much earlier."

I go into the kitchen and grab an orange. I'm swallowing the last bite when Jamie walks in. "Sorry about the interruption. Want to call now?"
“I think I'll wait until I know when and if I’ll be home tonight. So he's going to come over around 10?"
“Yeah. And he's not calling again before then unless he's in the hospital, which is very unlikely. So we're free to do whatever we want, without fear of interruption until 10 o'clock. Shall we pick up where we left off?"
“Sounds good to me." I say.

Jamie leans down and brushes his lips against mine, back and forth until I can’t stand it anymore. I grab his face and hold it still, his lips against mine. Jamie laughs and whispers, "I was wondering how long you would put up with that.” then consumes my lips in a hungry kiss. He lifts me onto the counter, never taking his mouth off of mine. He tilts his head down even farther, and starts kissing my neck, causing chills to run up and down my spine. He slips his hands under my shirt and cups my breasts. He plays with them, squeezing, kneading, tugging, rolling my nipples in his fingers, and driving me crazy. I arch my back, and the movement brings my neck hard against his mouth. When I feel his mouth on my neck, there's something not quite right. I don't have time to figure it out, or really even notice it, before Jamie steps back from me and turns away. "What's wrong?" I ask.
“Nothing's wrong. I just need to cool off for a minute, that's all." His voice sounds strange, like his mouth is full of cotton.
“You don’t need to be way over there to cool off. There’s something else. What is it?"
“It’s nothing.'' His voice is clearer.
“If it's nothing, why won't you look at me? Did I do something wrong?"
“Of course not!" Jamie finally looks at me. "I just didn't want to rush you into anything. " He takes my hands in his and looks at me intently. “You seemed a little apprehensive about what we did earlier, so I wanted to make sure you're as into what we're doing now as I am."
“You aren't pushing me into anything. All I was worried about before was us messing up our friendship, and we already settled that."
“Well, I’ll say it again. We'll still be friends. We'll just be close friends." When he says close, he steps forward and pulls me hard towards himself, so that our bodies are as tight as we can be with our clothes still on. "I can understand you thinking about our friendship being affected. What I can't understand is you worrying that you had done something wrong. Where did you get an idea like that?''
“I haven’t done stuff like this much."
“Haven’t done it much as in you could count the times on one hand, or as in you haven't done it at all?”
“As in I haven’t done much of anything at all. Never gotten near doing anything really. Before today, that is.”
“I didn’t see that one coming.” Jamie says. He continues, sounding distracted, like he’s thinking out loud, ”I should have known. Why didn’t I? That’s something I should have picked up on. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Hello. Person you’re talking about sitting right next to you. Please rejoin us here on planet Earth.”
“Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to say that, and looking back, I couldn't see how I hadn’t known."
“I don't see how you would have known without me telling you. I also don't see how it's a big deal. The only difference from 5 minutes ago is that now you know. I'm thinking I already know the answer to this question, but I'm going to be optimistic and ask anyway. You're not completely freaked out, right? You just need a minute to deal with reality, and then we can pick up where we left off, right? Right?'' I sigh hopelessly, then wait for Jamie to answer.
“As you noticed, I have some, let's call it issues, about having sex with you. I'm not saying never, just not here, not now."
“I could very calmly kill you right now, and any jury in the world would call it justifiable homicide, and they would fell deep and extreme pity for me."
“I'm going to take a leap here, and assume you are pretty mad at me."
“Mad doesn't even begin to cover it. Enraged doesn't even come close. They will have to invent a whole new word to express how pissed I am. I mean, I made kinda a big decision here, and you seem to be all for it, and then just suddenly go, o, sorry, changed my mind."
“I am very, deeply, intensely, severely sorry. They will have to invent a new word for how sorry I am. But it has to be this way for now.  I thought you had a certain...amount of experience. And the fact that you don't, changes things, and makes a big difference, to me. I have a very good reason for changing my mind. I can't tell you exactly why now, but when I do, I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“It had better be an amazingly good reason."
“It's beyond amazing."
“And you can't tell me now because?"
“Because it has to stay secret for now."
“How long is now?"
“Well, now is supposed to be always, but I was already more or less planning to tell you tonight. It's what I asked you over to talk about."
“If you're already going to tell me later, why can't you tell me now? And why didn't you tell me as soon as we got here?"
“I didn't tell you as soon as we got here because I was, and am, having second, well, really more like two hundred twenty second, thoughts about the wisdom of telling you. It involves a lot more people than just me, and I could get in serious trouble for telling you. Chris knows I have been considering telling you lately. When he stopped by to borrow the car and saw you were here, I guess it started him thinking, and he later realized I was planning on letting you know, and that'd why he called."
“Oh, lemme guess, you're Jamie Bond, right? And Chris is 007 1/2, and you could be killed if you blow your cover. What secret could you possibly have that you think I would not be able to deal with? And why on earth would you think that there was anything that you could tell me that I would not keep private if you asked me to? As long as you aren't planning on blowing up a building or something like that, I don't see what the big deal could possibly be. Which leads me to the conclusion that this is a game, or a joke, or something like that. And if this is a game, or some idiotic joke, I suggest you tell me now, that is if you ever want me to speak to you again."
“It's not a game, or a joke. And I'm not planning on blowing up any buildings, or anything like that, but it is very real, and very dangerous. And if I tell you, then you could be in danger too. Please, just trust me for a little while?"

I'm about to start yelling again when something in his voice and his face stop me. "I'm still highly incensed, but I'm willing to admit you might have a good reason." I say instead. "I don't see what could possibly be such a big deal, but I'll hang around until Chris gets here. This better be one hell of good reason, because if it's something stupid..." I say warningly. As the adrenaline rush of my anger starts to wear off, I realize that I'm getting a headache.
“It's not a game. It's very much not a game. When I tell you, you'll understand. I hope. Jamie says, a little wearily.
“Well, for some unknown reason, I believe you. I don't know why, but I believe you. I am, however, still mad at you. And also starting to get what could be a nasty headache. Therefore, I am going to nap until Chris gets here."
“I'm not stupid enough to try and argue. And I'm sorry your head hurts. Let me know if you want some aspirin or anything. I'll wake you after he's done trying to talk me out of telling, how's that?”
“Sounds good. And no, no aspirin, this is one of those headaches that can't be helped by anything except rest." I cross the hall and go in Jamie's room. I take off my shoes and socks, think about it for a second, and take off my jeans. I lay down on the bed and fall asleep.